I especially love the part about letting them make memories and having experiences that you are not privy to. 🥰
Also, the older I get, the more I appreciate the unique bond among siblings in that they are the only other people who truly understand your upbringing/how crazy your parents are 🤣
Thank you for sharing this, Connie! Your parenting inspires me a lot and I wish that my kids can become good friends like yours.
I feel a gap between my siblings and I. I love them so much but I know these bonding moments were missing during important times of our lives. And one thing that guides my parenting is friendship between siblings so I found this article very helpful and inspiring.
Thankyou Bruna! I wish i was closer with my older siblings too. I think it's one reason i focus so much on mine remaining friends, i know how easy it is to feel so far apart from your own family.
My brother and I are very close. Like you, I message him to hang out and vice versa. We’ve always done that and now that I have children I love seeing his bond with them grow as their uncle. We also did a lot together as kids, including going off to do our own things without our parents. It was the 90s then so I guess this was more common but it is something I’d like to feel comfortable encouraging my sons to do when they’re older. Also similarly to your situation, my husband and his brothers don’t talk or hang out. They haven’t “fallen out” but they aren’t close and really only see each other at Christmas. It is so bizarre to me and I try to highlight to him the value in fostering our sons to have a beautiful sibling bond.
I love that you've stayed close with your brother. For some reason i always think its harder to stay closer with a sibling of the opposite sex, so i love hearing about close brother/sister relationships!
Well, I don’t have a sister so it was always going to be a brother I was close with. There are three of us and I’m the eldest. Our younger brother is more of an elusive sort of person and keeps to himself a lot.
I love this ! Mine are all close in age but I really want them to be close ! It’s hard to see when siblings don’t always get along and cherish each other !
Mine fall out a lot but they also make up super fast! Not sure if this is a boy thing as my friends with girls say they hold a grudge for much longer! But mine can be punching each other one second and besties the next lol
I really enjoyed listening to this while I did my dishes tonight! 😊 some really wise pieces of advice and reflections here. I really want to foster this environment with my own boys, and I do see them having a special unique relationship already, but I want to still assist them in that.
Mindset wise I think it really helps if you have this in mind, that they are a team, and to always avoid pitting them against each other. I think when parents compare ‘do it like he does’ or ‘oh isn’t he being good’ in a tone that makes the other jealous or to feel shame, it’s really sad and just putting a wedge between the kids. I see this now in some ways because my husband and his brother aren’t that close. They see each other often enough in the sense that he still lives with their mum so when we go to see my brother in law he’s sometimes there, but it’s not one on one time and it’s not intentional. My husband struggled a lot cos he was older and always held responsible for things, so whilst his brother seemed to get away with anything he was the one who got hounded over stuff. Even now his mother has a tendency to favour, then hold him to a higher standard than his brother.
I felt a bit sad listening to this because the things you do and initiate sound wonderful - and sometimes I get a little wistful because I never got to experience that exact feeling. I am so blessed to have a niece and nephew that filled that gap for most of the years growing up and she is still my best friend, but I didn’t get to have this with my siblings; they’re twenty years older than me. So although I loved being with my niece and nephew and we were really close, it’s never fully the same as someone in your home who knows you that extra bit more.
Thanks for sharing Jessica. I definitely agree about not comparing. My older two boys are complete opposites of each other, ones very outgoing and extroverted and the other very shy and introverted. Ones sporty, ones 'nerdy'. So im very concious of not comparing them because they simply are very different people. It actually seems to work well for them because they can kind of encourage each other or show each other new things ect.
I have much older siblings too, that i don't really have a relationship with, so i kind of understand. It is a bit sad to feel so distant from your own family.
I often hear from men that they dont stay close with their siblings, i think its what makes me more aware of it. Because i have mostly boys i want them to stay close unlike my husband and his two brother who arent close at all.
Yes, I have the same point of view, that the brothers will be there at a point when no one else wont anymore. However recently the older ones (now 18 and 15) reached a point that they dont really like to hang out together because one thinks the other one is just “sooo cringy”… and vice versa, they’ve been somehow locked in their own powerstruggles.🤦🏻♀️Hope its just an age phase and part of puberty and it shall/will pass away eventually….😅
Im sure it probably is an age thing. I remember saying the same thing about my sister around that age. And absolutely hating her because she kept stealing my clothes lol.
Im sure mine will all experience wobbles with each other as they grow! Especially as they all head into puberty!
I especially love the part about letting them make memories and having experiences that you are not privy to. 🥰
Also, the older I get, the more I appreciate the unique bond among siblings in that they are the only other people who truly understand your upbringing/how crazy your parents are 🤣
I love this. My sister and I are close in age but my brother is ten years younger than me, we all have a great relationships with each other ♥️
I love hearing this!
Thank you for sharing this, Connie! Your parenting inspires me a lot and I wish that my kids can become good friends like yours.
I feel a gap between my siblings and I. I love them so much but I know these bonding moments were missing during important times of our lives. And one thing that guides my parenting is friendship between siblings so I found this article very helpful and inspiring.
Thankyou Bruna! I wish i was closer with my older siblings too. I think it's one reason i focus so much on mine remaining friends, i know how easy it is to feel so far apart from your own family.
If mine end up friends that is all I can hope for. Currently it is world war 3 most days…!
Oh we have many a days like that too! haha
Ohh I loved this and so I agree.
My brother and I are very close. Like you, I message him to hang out and vice versa. We’ve always done that and now that I have children I love seeing his bond with them grow as their uncle. We also did a lot together as kids, including going off to do our own things without our parents. It was the 90s then so I guess this was more common but it is something I’d like to feel comfortable encouraging my sons to do when they’re older. Also similarly to your situation, my husband and his brothers don’t talk or hang out. They haven’t “fallen out” but they aren’t close and really only see each other at Christmas. It is so bizarre to me and I try to highlight to him the value in fostering our sons to have a beautiful sibling bond.
Thanks for sharing x
I love that you've stayed close with your brother. For some reason i always think its harder to stay closer with a sibling of the opposite sex, so i love hearing about close brother/sister relationships!
Well, I don’t have a sister so it was always going to be a brother I was close with. There are three of us and I’m the eldest. Our younger brother is more of an elusive sort of person and keeps to himself a lot.
I love this ! Mine are all close in age but I really want them to be close ! It’s hard to see when siblings don’t always get along and cherish each other !
Mine fall out a lot but they also make up super fast! Not sure if this is a boy thing as my friends with girls say they hold a grudge for much longer! But mine can be punching each other one second and besties the next lol
I really enjoyed listening to this while I did my dishes tonight! 😊 some really wise pieces of advice and reflections here. I really want to foster this environment with my own boys, and I do see them having a special unique relationship already, but I want to still assist them in that.
Mindset wise I think it really helps if you have this in mind, that they are a team, and to always avoid pitting them against each other. I think when parents compare ‘do it like he does’ or ‘oh isn’t he being good’ in a tone that makes the other jealous or to feel shame, it’s really sad and just putting a wedge between the kids. I see this now in some ways because my husband and his brother aren’t that close. They see each other often enough in the sense that he still lives with their mum so when we go to see my brother in law he’s sometimes there, but it’s not one on one time and it’s not intentional. My husband struggled a lot cos he was older and always held responsible for things, so whilst his brother seemed to get away with anything he was the one who got hounded over stuff. Even now his mother has a tendency to favour, then hold him to a higher standard than his brother.
I felt a bit sad listening to this because the things you do and initiate sound wonderful - and sometimes I get a little wistful because I never got to experience that exact feeling. I am so blessed to have a niece and nephew that filled that gap for most of the years growing up and she is still my best friend, but I didn’t get to have this with my siblings; they’re twenty years older than me. So although I loved being with my niece and nephew and we were really close, it’s never fully the same as someone in your home who knows you that extra bit more.
Thanks for sharing Jessica. I definitely agree about not comparing. My older two boys are complete opposites of each other, ones very outgoing and extroverted and the other very shy and introverted. Ones sporty, ones 'nerdy'. So im very concious of not comparing them because they simply are very different people. It actually seems to work well for them because they can kind of encourage each other or show each other new things ect.
I have much older siblings too, that i don't really have a relationship with, so i kind of understand. It is a bit sad to feel so distant from your own family.
I often hear from men that they dont stay close with their siblings, i think its what makes me more aware of it. Because i have mostly boys i want them to stay close unlike my husband and his two brother who arent close at all.
Thankyou so much for reading :)
CACKLING about the fork to forehead bit hahaha this is fantastic, loved reading!! Thanks for sharing! :)
Yes, I have the same point of view, that the brothers will be there at a point when no one else wont anymore. However recently the older ones (now 18 and 15) reached a point that they dont really like to hang out together because one thinks the other one is just “sooo cringy”… and vice versa, they’ve been somehow locked in their own powerstruggles.🤦🏻♀️Hope its just an age phase and part of puberty and it shall/will pass away eventually….😅
Im sure it probably is an age thing. I remember saying the same thing about my sister around that age. And absolutely hating her because she kept stealing my clothes lol.
Im sure mine will all experience wobbles with each other as they grow! Especially as they all head into puberty!
Very sweet :)