This is so tough!! I haven’t experienced this yet but I know it’s coming. I will probably make our home a no phone zone where we put kid’s guests phones up while they are there. I feel bad for those kiddos who are so addicted and missing out on the fun that is real life! Your kids seem amazing; you’re doing an amazing job and I hope he can find some friends with the same priorities as your family. Sending hugs!
Thankyou so much for this reply ❤️ your words are so kind 🥹 going forward I definitely need to have a think about a phones basket or something because i don't want this happening again. It was horrid!
We can't stop them from doing whatever they like at school, but in my house if you come over to play you bloody will play. Play competitive videogames if you want! But interact with each other!
Yes! It was annoying that the playstation network just happened to be down that day because I would have let them go on the playstation so at least it was something other than the damn phone!
That is so, so sad. My 14 yr old daughter has commented on this, too — and decided to stop spending time with a group that did this this all the time.
Once when my daughter had a sleepover, and I knew a couple of the girls came from a phones-always family, I texted all the moms in advance and let them know we'd be doing a no-phones birthday party. The mom of the phone-girls was concerned, but I assured her the phones would all be available in a basket on the counter, and that they could call or text home any time they needed to, or even grab a phone for a quick photo. She decided it was okay. The girls had a fabulous time, and as far as I know, nobody missed their phones! I would 100% do it again.
That sound horrible. I feel so sorry for your son… and also for the other boy, who is so young and already addicted to screens like that.
I feel so inspired by you and your parenting style. I hope my kids can be best friends like yours are. And that they enjoy life in the real world as well!
My kids are still so young, I don’t have any wisdom like that to share. But I loved the other comments about a no phone party!
How sad, my two are still only little, but I hadn't considered that this might be something they would have to wrestle with! Love some of the suggestions from others. Can I also just say, testament to you for raising your children in a way where they want to spend time with their friends, properly, without screens. And how lovely that your boys have such a sweet relationship with each other.
This is such a huge issue for parents of tweens and teens! My two are just about to turn 13 and 15, and they don’t have phones yet either. They do have access to iPads up until dinner time, it is such a tremendously tricky issue. In fact, it was one of the things dragging me down that I wrote about my own post this week!
As for navigating play date dynamics, do your kids have any suggestions? Would they be comfortable with you telling their friends upon arrival that you have no phone policy during face-to-face hangout time?
I loved the fact that your son shared these things with you. Most kids wouldn’t do that and would actually just join their friends instead. You know you’re doing an amazing job as a mom when your son has no interest in screens. Keep doing what you’re doing, and he never will.
2.
It’s not the other kids’ fault that they’re on their phones most of the time. These apps are addictive, yes, but it could also be due to abusive family members or high tension at home. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a great mom like you.
3.
Phones have become a replacement for physical communication. Only about 10% of the time is it the addictive environment that hooks them. 90% of the time, it’s because their families are unable to communicate with them.
And btw, you peeking from the edge like that 👀 is just funny hahaha. That’s exactly what a mom would do when she sees something she doesn’t like.
My mom actually knows my friends so well. Sometimes they talk to her on the phone and I don’t even know about it. All my childhood friends are still around because my mom kept notes and had a schedule to check on them and invite them over to hang out. Her concept was: "If their families can’t communicate with them, I will."
Oh lord, even my 27-year-old friend cries to my mom when he’s going through a hard time.
So I would advise you to communicate with those kids next time. Act as a temporary mom for them. Create a close circle of friends around your kid.
For example: let’s say your kid’s friend is named Mike.
1. Hi Mike, how was your day?React, expand, and ask more if you can.
2. What are you two planning to do today?Did you have something specific in mind?
3. I have some suggestions for great activities you could do.* Wanna hear them?
4. What’s been going on in the media lately?Any trends I’m missing? If they mention a topic, filter it and expand if it’s appropriate.
5. Put on short films on the TV🎥 — usually 10-15 min. Not too long, but it pulls them away from screen time and gets them talking about it afterward.
This is so tough!! I haven’t experienced this yet but I know it’s coming. I will probably make our home a no phone zone where we put kid’s guests phones up while they are there. I feel bad for those kiddos who are so addicted and missing out on the fun that is real life! Your kids seem amazing; you’re doing an amazing job and I hope he can find some friends with the same priorities as your family. Sending hugs!
Thankyou so much for this reply ❤️ your words are so kind 🥹 going forward I definitely need to have a think about a phones basket or something because i don't want this happening again. It was horrid!
This!
We can't stop them from doing whatever they like at school, but in my house if you come over to play you bloody will play. Play competitive videogames if you want! But interact with each other!
Yes! It was annoying that the playstation network just happened to be down that day because I would have let them go on the playstation so at least it was something other than the damn phone!
The only rule is: HAVE FUN! WITH EACHOTHER! 🤣
This is a good idea. If they ‘need’ to be contacted then the parent can call the host parent. Gosh, so sad that this is a thing now
That is so, so sad. My 14 yr old daughter has commented on this, too — and decided to stop spending time with a group that did this this all the time.
Once when my daughter had a sleepover, and I knew a couple of the girls came from a phones-always family, I texted all the moms in advance and let them know we'd be doing a no-phones birthday party. The mom of the phone-girls was concerned, but I assured her the phones would all be available in a basket on the counter, and that they could call or text home any time they needed to, or even grab a phone for a quick photo. She decided it was okay. The girls had a fabulous time, and as far as I know, nobody missed their phones! I would 100% do it again.
I love this. I would love to try and implement that myself!
Great idea noting for future reference
"The phone had won. My son had lost." Detailed and realistic account of childhood now. Something deeply lost indeed. Uphill battle.
That sound horrible. I feel so sorry for your son… and also for the other boy, who is so young and already addicted to screens like that.
I feel so inspired by you and your parenting style. I hope my kids can be best friends like yours are. And that they enjoy life in the real world as well!
My kids are still so young, I don’t have any wisdom like that to share. But I loved the other comments about a no phone party!
Bruna your kind comments always warm my heart. Thankyou ❤️ I also loved the idea of the no phone party!
How sad, my two are still only little, but I hadn't considered that this might be something they would have to wrestle with! Love some of the suggestions from others. Can I also just say, testament to you for raising your children in a way where they want to spend time with their friends, properly, without screens. And how lovely that your boys have such a sweet relationship with each other.
Thankyou Izzah 🥹 this was such a lovely comment to read ❤️
This is such a huge issue for parents of tweens and teens! My two are just about to turn 13 and 15, and they don’t have phones yet either. They do have access to iPads up until dinner time, it is such a tremendously tricky issue. In fact, it was one of the things dragging me down that I wrote about my own post this week!
As for navigating play date dynamics, do your kids have any suggestions? Would they be comfortable with you telling their friends upon arrival that you have no phone policy during face-to-face hangout time?
Omg
This is heartbreaking!! Hadn’t thought of it! Thank you for sharing
It really is isn't it and I just can't see how it will get better any time soon!
1.
I loved the fact that your son shared these things with you. Most kids wouldn’t do that and would actually just join their friends instead. You know you’re doing an amazing job as a mom when your son has no interest in screens. Keep doing what you’re doing, and he never will.
2.
It’s not the other kids’ fault that they’re on their phones most of the time. These apps are addictive, yes, but it could also be due to abusive family members or high tension at home. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a great mom like you.
3.
Phones have become a replacement for physical communication. Only about 10% of the time is it the addictive environment that hooks them. 90% of the time, it’s because their families are unable to communicate with them.
And btw, you peeking from the edge like that 👀 is just funny hahaha. That’s exactly what a mom would do when she sees something she doesn’t like.
My mom actually knows my friends so well. Sometimes they talk to her on the phone and I don’t even know about it. All my childhood friends are still around because my mom kept notes and had a schedule to check on them and invite them over to hang out. Her concept was: "If their families can’t communicate with them, I will."
Oh lord, even my 27-year-old friend cries to my mom when he’s going through a hard time.
So I would advise you to communicate with those kids next time. Act as a temporary mom for them. Create a close circle of friends around your kid.
For example: let’s say your kid’s friend is named Mike.
1. Hi Mike, how was your day?React, expand, and ask more if you can.
2. What are you two planning to do today?Did you have something specific in mind?
3. I have some suggestions for great activities you could do.* Wanna hear them?
4. What’s been going on in the media lately?Any trends I’m missing? If they mention a topic, filter it and expand if it’s appropriate.
5. Put on short films on the TV🎥 — usually 10-15 min. Not too long, but it pulls them away from screen time and gets them talking about it afterward.
6. What are you feeling like today?